I value my friends so much even though I might not show it well. I want them to be happy, I want them to rely on me. I hope they know how much they mean to me, because sometimes I might act too possessive or too uncaring. Believe me, I care too much I’m afraid it becomes too annoying, that’s why I create some space for my insecurities.
This phase is so lonely I can’t handle it well. This is too much to bear, with other people’s lives passing right in front of me. How happy they are. How settle they are. How their lives escalate quickly I can’t keep up with the pace. Why is my life this stagnant? Why can’t I make money and live the life I wanted to be? It’s suffocating and I’m running out of breath.
Having those thoughts running through my mind all the time is tough. Living like this is hard. Especially when you have to face this alone. Therefore, people who are with me right now, who can put up with this anxious me, or people who try to comfort me, are precious.
Remember that I am so thankful for you being my friend, right now, unconditionally. I might not shower you with love, but I love you with all my heart. I wish you receive the love you deserve.